Not that I care particularly, but… it’s a conspiracy. The country’s attitude towards drug use and abuse is a perpetuation of the status quo that’s evolved out of ignorance, rather than malice. Most people are sheep, you know? They do what the system tells them, hence they don’t try shit for themselves and without thinking about it they prolong the current state of affairs. The line they keep trumpeting in school, “Drugs are bad,” is a patently false. Drugs are lots of things, good, bad and everywhere in between but the main thing to remember is drugs fucking work. Drugs make you feel good. They don’t tell you that. It’s not in the interest of the people that control the system. They tell you all the bad stuff. “Drugs will ruin your life, they’ll sap your ambition, ruin your relationships, blah, blah, blah.” But think about it for a second, if drugs really did all those things, why would so many people still take them? Huh? Tell me that. I’ll tell you why. Because they feel fucking amazing. They make you feel so good that they’re WORTH all that negative shit. Drugs put you right. You just can’t fucking beat ‘em. Where else are you going to get the deep down, lizard-brain contentment? Drugs. Drugs are the only way to get there that I know of. The feeling you get when you deliver the perfect fucking amount of whatever-it-is-that-does-you-right to the correct spot in your brain cannot be beaten. For me – and for a lot of other people – it comes when I find that perfect ratio of cocaine to heroin and I boot it into my arm and it goes straight to my brainstem and I’m feeling no pain. Bolivia and Afghanistan meet one another in the crook of my right arm and shake hands at the base of my brainstem. All is right in the world and I cannot, no will not, be bested. When I’m in that spot, I wouldn’t trade places with anyone. For anything.
And it’s not because I haven’t experienced life either. Because I have. I’ve known joy. I’ve known victory and love and I’ve won (and lost) at life. I’ve had sex and I’ve been hurt, physically and emotionally hurt. Believe me, I’ve been around. I’d tell you straight if drugs weren’t up to the task. But they are.
Take that most carnal pleasure, sex, because you say drugs are a sensory experience, as opposed to an emotional or spiritual one, which you are wrong about but I’ll humor you for argument’s sake. I’ve had good sex. I’ve been in that perfect position with the perfect woman, pumping away at the perfect velvet flesh box. That sexual nirvana shit is child’s play when compared to the right shot. Maybe I say maybe, amplify that perfect sex scenario times 100, make it last an hour and then perhaps, just maybe you are getting into the same ballpark. Still you could never surpass the shot. Drugs are made to do you right. And that’s what they do; right. That’s why you get all those negatives that go along with the experience. Because if we all got to live that way, in perfect physical and mental equilibrium, we’d have never evolved the way we did. All of mankind would be sitting in a corner with a needle their arm. Nothing would get done!
The trick is you gotta maintain. Which is not to say it’s easy. It’s not. It’s far from easy. It’s easy to get carried away. I’ve had my troubles; I’ve gotten it wrong, disastrously wrong. But I have to believe, if you can manage to walk the line, you can have the best of both worlds. You can have the drugs and the lifestyle that allows you to continue to take drugs, if you are prepared to walk the line and work for it. That’s what they don’t tell you in school! And I intend to prove it. Take note kids.