Fucking A! You clicked on “about!” I physically fucking love you! By clicking on that button you were pretty much saying you like me, right? That is so frickin’ cool! Thank you!

Wait, let me dial this back a notch. Hey there! Welcome to my blog whydontyoulikeme.com. Mi nombre es Jared Mazzaschi and I am the future pilgrim. Thanks for clicking “about.”

I came up with that name for myself – future pilgrim – because those are two things I like thinking about: pilgrims, like oldey-timey, New England-style pilgrims and the future, as in shit that hasn’t happened yet. The future I like to think about is the one where we humans will have robot masters and self-driving cars and stuff like that. It won’t be long now! I’m pretty stoked about the future. And the past, too! Ironic, huh?

So, about me… I like to write, but even better, I like it when something I’ve written connects with somebody else – like when you make a human connection – know what I mean? That sounds a little touchy-feely for my taste but, what are you gonna do? You gotta put something down.

I’m from Boston, MA. Which is a cool place! Maybe that’s where I get the Pilgrim thing from, I’m not sure. Growing up I was deadly sure I was going to be a New England/New Yorker guy for life. I was wicked serious about it and that shit was not to be joked about! I’ve found however, that to be really freaking sure about something is a nearly sure-fire way to disprove that very thing or belief. In this case, the idea that I was the epitome of “East coast real” was disproven by the fact that I’ve lived in Southern California – the Silver Lake neighborhood of LA – for 15 years now.

I guess I always thought that on the East Coast – NYC specifically, a place I’ve long been obsessed with and lived for 5 years while I was at NYU – was where we kept shit real! Maybe so, but I’ve since revised my opinion. I think the majority of people do the best that they can, wherever they happen to be from or happen to be living. And of course there are diseased apples in the barrel! There are fake and/or messed-up people wherever you go! Just ignore them and keep on moving, because the majority of us are trying to work it out! So in that sense, LA is as good as anyplace else. It’s no thing… Plus the weather here rules! You can’t beat it. Fuck winter.

Ok, I’ve been yapping a while and I still haven’t said much about me. I like writing about petty-crime, drugs, punk rock and other semi-racy subjects in that vein. I think race and history are great topics as well, but I haven’t explored them too much here as of yet. I hope to get there eventually.

I’ve worked in advertising and movie marketing for many years. I was one of the co-founders of a design studio called Exopolis back in the day (Exopolis R.I.P.) and I’ve worked on literally hundreds of marketing campaigns for movies over the years. I still freelance as an advertising copywriter occasionally, although I’m more concerned with my own writing these days.

Oh yeah! Comedy is a big thing with me! I’ve made some comedy videos – short form stuff – some of it is posted here and I’ll be making more in the coming days. Please take a moment to watch one or two if you come across them. I love stupid shit. MacGruber is literally my favorite movie. Coincidentally, I have also written a movie about male Russian gymnasts called F.O.R.C. (Former Olympian Re-creation Camp) that I hope to produce one day.

I guess that’ll do it for my updated “about” section for now.

I really want to thank you for visiting my blog. I appreciate your presence. I would love it if you left a comment. It would physically make my day. So at least consider it. Until we meet again…

Yours truly,


6 thoughts on “About”

  1. Lose five points for having the words Kurt Cobain and Punk on the same page, but earn 10 for the “Fuck you and your fucking Batman!” post which, as my younger American coworkers like to say, totally nails it.

    I have you bookmarked.

    1. This comment is awesome, thank you! Really appreciate you leaving it. I’m just curious though, do you not think Nirvana was punk rock? I love hearing different people’s take on what exactly punk is & is not. Nirvana wasn’t hardcore and it was absolutely mainstream, but the spirit that inspired it was punk imo.

      Anyway, thanks again for the comment.

  2. Love your work. Really glad I stumbled upon your blog. I am a huge Nirvana fan and concur that Kurdt was most heavily influenced by punk rock. And Zeppelin, Cheap Trick, The Beatles, Aerosmith, Bowie, Queen, etc., etc. The end is listless. I am so looking forward to diving into your writing after I get settled in my new home. Or I may start now to avoid packing my stuff. Take care and thanks for posting…

    1. Thank you so much for leaving a comment! It’s difficult to convey just how happy it makes me – it really just changes my entire day for the better. Thank you. Please come back!


    1. Hey Nino,

      I think it says how old he was in his book. I don’t remember exactly. I want to say either 11 or 13. I took a look at your blog – it’s cool! I look forward to reading your story!

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