Kurt Cobain Lives

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In 1994 Kurt Cobain faked his own suicide. 22 years later he’s come back to “get” Dave Grohl.

“Wait, this doesn’t make sense. Do you know what he wants? Why in the world would this dude want to talk to me? To us?” I ask Martin.

I have Martin on speaker while I Google the lawyer he’s just mentioned on my aging MacBook Pro. The lawyer’s name, the guy who wants us to come see him, is Vincent Consuelo. I’ve heard the name before I think, but I can’t place it.

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Kurt Cobain was NOT a Retard Fucker!

Back in the 90’s, I nearly wore out my Aiwa boom box (along with its’ trademarked mega-bass-boost button) with the Melvin’s Houdini CD. The box was a rugged piece of equipment and I was convinced it would last forever. It followed me from my dorm room on Washington Square Park, to a tenement building on Avenue C, then across the country for an action packed-black-tar-filled sojourn on Haight Street. It only succumbed some years after my return to the student hellhole known as Allston Massachusetts. Despite the mileage, I’m convinced it was Houdini that ultimately did the mega-bass button in.


 Consider reading the first installment of a new fictional piece I am writing Kurt Cobain Lives In 1994 Kurt Cobain faked his own suicide. 22 years later he’s ending his self-imposed exile.


 

More to the point, my mind was blown when I was introduced to the Melvins. It was so heavy! The sound was so much darker than most of the heavy metal I was aware of at the time. It’s hard, but has a slippery tempo that makes it difficult to put your finger on, still guitar-based, but with drums and vocals used so differently from anything else I’d yet heard. It’s still vaguely punk, but fucking evil as well. I loved it! This was the shit you imagined destroying boom boxes, although truthfully that particular Aiwa boom box lasted longer than it had a right to.

Continue reading “Kurt Cobain was NOT a Retard Fucker!”

So Punk It Hurts

I’ve tried with varying intensity over the years, to generate traffic to this blog. I’ve long imagined that consistency – primarily in the frequency and regularity of updates, but also in subject matter – would be the key to generating traffic. Apparently, I am incapable of either of those types of consistency, so I still don’t know whether this hypothesis is true or not. And I may never know.

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You know who really sucks? Dave Grohl, that’s who…

Dave Grohl is guilty of ‘betraying one’s punk rock roots.’ A high crime in my book.

So what, you say? There are a million shitty bands that aren’t worth paying attention to. And life is too short to waste your breath on something one deems not worthy, correct? Well, you’d be right about that, but Dave Grohl was in Nirvana! And Nirvana was my favorite band. Ever. Of all time. As such Dave spent years in close proximity to my favorite artist.

Like a Vietnam vet, “He was there, man!”

 Consider reading the first installment of a new fictional piece I am writing Kurt Cobain Lives In 1994 Kurt Cobain faked his own suicide. 22 years later he’s ending his self-imposed exile.

Continue reading “You know who really sucks? Dave Grohl, that’s who…”

Oh The Guilt

Kurt Cobain and the Suicide Solution 20 Years Later

The Following is a copy of a piece I wrote for thefix.com

Read the original here

This document is filled with shame.

I have a secret. If I were to tell you this secret, you’d know me – and my inadequacy – completely, so it must be zealously guarded. It’s heady stuff.

Actually… the real problem with my secret is just how boring it is and worse, how self-important I am to consider it shameful. Despite the cost to my ego though, I recognize that after holding onto it for near 20 years it’s beyond time to spill the goods. You ready? I’m kind of obsessed with Kurt Cobain.

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