So Punk It Hurts

I’ve tried with varying intensity over the years, to generate traffic to this blog. I’ve long imagined that consistency – primarily in the frequency and regularity of updates, but also in subject matter – would be the key to generating traffic. Apparently, I am incapable of either of those types of consistency, so I still don’t know whether this hypothesis is true or not. And I may never know.

Despite this lack of consistency, on most days I’ll get from 5 to 20 unique viewers. This seems like a fair number to me. Occasionally someone will come through and read everything that’s on here (close to 50 posts now), which seems cool. A visit of that nature means that a person spent some time reading stuff I wrote. What’s a drag is they usually don’t comment, so I don’t know what they thought about it. I tell myself that it’s the onerous barriers to commenting (you need to be signed into a WordPress account to comment) that are to blame for the reader’s silence, although I’m pretty sure that’s an excuse, because for the record, I don’t think it’s that hard to comment. In the end it’s another hypothesis that may never be proven, one way or the other.

There are also days when I’ll somehow catch a breeze on Google and get 50 or more unique visitors in a day. But generally there has been little rhyme or reason to the traffic – not that I can discern anyway.

Until Dave Grohl.

I wrote an entry titled, “You Know Who Really Sucks? Dave Grohl, That’s Who” earlier this year and it’s the most popular entry I’ve ever posted. By far.

Which is kind of funny. For a couple of reasons. One, because apparently a lot of people Google “Dave Grohl Sucks” or some variation on those words and two, because I don’t really think Dave Grohl sucks (ok well, maybe a little). Closer to the truth is that I don’t really care about him. He’s just a bro. And bros, or whatever you want to call kind of run-of-the-mill-machismo-dudes are for the most part, boring. Dave Grohl’s art, his raison d’etre, just doesn’t do it for me. Nothing personal.

Which makes it lame that a post about a guy I don’t really care all that much about, accounts for 75 percent of my traffic.

Further along that line of reasoning – when I’m in my right mind – I know most people on this earth are just trying to make it through the day. We, humans, are basically good and deserve to be celebrated – or at least not derided. Even Dave Grohl, if only for the fact that he’s a human being. We’re all, in one way or another – in most things that we do – trying to distract ourselves from the big question, which usually boils down to, “Why am I here?” I don’t always feel that benevolent, but for the most part it’s about the most chilled-out outlook I can come up with on a consistent basis. So I feel bad about saying negative shit about people. Even rich celebrities. Writing that kind of thing is just not what I want to be about.

Which leads me to my central difficulty. What’s a worthwhile thing to spend time thinking about? I am a writer. I sit around and think about shit, until I can’t sit with it anymore. Then I write it down.

It begins with me going back and forth about something internally. “Why are you thinking about that?” I’ll ask myself. “Is that a worthwhile thought?” or “Can you imagine a world where you wrote that down?” Which usually leads to “Can you imagine a world where you didn’t write that down? “Eventually I’ll end up thinking about whatever it is so long, that I finally say, “Might as well bang it out, maybe then maybe it won’t drive you crazy any more.” And I do. It usually doesn’t add up to much. Sometimes I’ll put what I’ve written on the internet. Sometimes I regret it. Usually not.

I don’t regret the “Dave Grohl Sucks” post. I stand behind the sentiments expressed within. But… The but is, must I stoop to insults in order to get read?

Life is strange. You try and attract traffic by writing what comes from the heart. Every once in a while that writing connects. It’s rewarding when it does. There is nothing better than when someone leaves a comment that says, “Interesting” or “I felt that too!” Generally though, it’s crickets.

Then you write a post – the “Dave Grohl Sucks” post is really just a rant that could have alternately been titled, “I Wish Kurt Cobain Hadn’t Killed Himself” – and it quadruples your traffic. It turns out a negative turn-of-phrase that’s not even true can quadruple your readership. Oh well. I wish that wasn’t how it worked, but what are you gonna do?

Funny, this world of ours.

P.S. Want to do me a favor? Leave a comment.

8 comments

  1. Drama

    You’re #1 fan here! I’ve been reading your blog for a little over a year now and I love everything you write! Especially the new York school kid stories about dealing with addiction. Opiates were something I struggled with on and off for years and the stories are so relatable. I have turned so many of my friends on to your blog because I think you’re an amazing writer, some of you’re blogs have even gave me chills haha. As long as you’re alive and writing im one reader you will always have! Peace and love -Drama

    • Drama

      I know I used the wrong your lol not sure how to fix it but I know as a writer that probably bugs you to see that haha. If there is anyway we could chat I would love to talk to you sometime and maybe get some writing tips. I’ve been writing music for years and I’ve just started taking a whack at writing short stories (you being my inspiration) and would love some advice. Get back to me -Drama

      • futurepilgrim

        Hello, Thanks for the comment and the kind words! I’ve reached out to you on the email that you used to register that “drama” account. Let me know if you want me to write to another address.

  2. drama

    Awesome! Im getting ready to check the email now, and to add to my other comment that line in one of your blogs about Bolivia and Afghanistan meeting at the crook of your arm and shaking hands at your brain stem, genius!

  3. Rachel

    Hi friend from Brisbane Australia
    Leaving a comment because I just read the above
    I noted you have aan elton john articlw below. I was hearing elton john earlier at a supermarket and thinking how Kurt would have appreciated his yellow brick road era stuff

    I found your site because I searched for ‘foo fighters suck’ because while i somehow managed to completely avoid hearing them at all for the last twenty years, since their first couple of singles, i remain bewildered by the incongruity.
    I will add something to your article though. The music is just booorrriinng but i’m not sure dave actually sucks as a person. Sure the actions, betraying his roots etc. Maybe i’ve said too much. But in terms of interpersonal presence, one hears how down to earth utterly friendly and sunny he is, open minded and a true music fan. Krist stil loves him and he’s a humble guy. The thing that i cant understand is how Grohl hangs out with the coolest living musicians – how does he have so much cred? Do they only pretend to like his music in public?
    Your Oh The Guilt article
    My disagreement is based on belief the lyrics were written much earluer than you are suggesting for the fame/sellout contention

    You need to get stuck into MOH more. Its a load of crap. The director has been utterly evasive on questions about where the storage shed was, who was with him, the nature of his access etc. We are led to believe all that stuff was left untouched for 20+ years
    The biggest error The director makes , which is so embarressingly erroneous, is that you xan know an artist through their works. Ie that they are literally biographical.
    This is very delusional. Oscar Wilde ( preface to Portrait of Dorian Grey- one page- a manifesto, read it now) and Steve Alvini both spoke out against this perspective

    Oh and the legendary divorce is such a bore
    Kurts folks obliquely reference that lyric did you catch it in MOH ?
    Well, It appears to me to be about the sub pop split.
    ( see what i did there. I contradicted myself. But i’m right- kurt lyrics are as reliable a soyrce of biography as the retard fucker story. He didnt write lyrics in a fashion we like to imagine

    Its hard to read your site on my phone but I’ll get there

  4. Rachel

    Yo Rachel again
    see cobainevidence dot com for all the issues surrounding death scene. It is evidence compiled by a lawyer
    Did you know Kurt had bought two tickets with delta to fly for after he was dead. He had also scheduled going fishing with his grandfather whilst he was in rehab – again for after he was dead

    There are plenty of interviews where director Morgan of MOH gets really agitated and defensive when people start quizzing him about how much Courtney was involved (he has changed his story on that a few times – the ‘she handed it all over to me’ was later changed to her being a partner in it )
    and asking him about why Dave Grohl wasn’t interviewed

    heres on example of this:
    http://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/movies/kurt-cobains-montage-of-heck-not-the-holy-grail-of-new-nirvana-music-20150421-1mnjaw.html

    Grohl was talking with Rolling Stone for the re release of In Utero recently and made the comment ‘ my kids know he was killed. they don’t know that he killed himself” (in context to them listening to In Utero and the emotional tone being different for him when he listens to it). The interview you can find online
    My take is that Krist and Dave have privately agreed to go along with the suicide theory as not to antagonise Courtney. So she won’t block them from releasing Nirvana stuff – or, preventing dodgy uses of Nirvana stuff. They feel they are custodians for Kurts music and that Kurt knew it was all about the music, so they’ll leave it to other people to follow the murder leads and do their job which is to protect his music. Thus trying to stay on an even keel with the CL monster.

  5. Katie

    Sometimes I try to be a writer, and I need a lot of inspiration. When that time comes, my first instinct is to come to your blog. I have no idea how I found it, but it’s been at least 2 years now. I’ve reached out to you once before, but I don’t remember what or where the comment was. I probably used a made up name. Anyway, I just wanted to say that even if nobody ever reads this shit (not saying it’s shitty, just to clarify), it’s good that you have this outlet. I fucking hate this phrase, but it rings true: haters gonna hate.
    In short, fuck the traffic. It’s easy to get stuck in your own head wondering what people think, and how to get them to think about the way you think. But that’s a downward spiral. I honestly think that people as a whole have just stopped using books and short stories for entertainment these days. They need short, quick articles full of buzzwords. They need 15 second videos. And that’s their loss, not yours. It’s nice to find a writer that doesn’t cater to the thoughtless. Keep doing what you do. Your site may be hard to find, an underground sort of thing, but I think that’s part of it’s charm. Popularity can be a cancer.

    • futurepilgrim

      Hey thank you for checking in and thanks for the comment! More traffic would be nice, but it is what it is. In fact some days I’m really impressed by the numbers. Somebody, somewhere reads this stuff every day. That’s pretty crazy. It’s cool! My mantra of late is “It’s about the work.” That idea has held for a while now. The writing IS the important part.

      I really appreciate you reading. Keep coming back. Thank you!

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